Have you ever gone off the handle, usually based on an usumption? and then later found out you were incorrect... Time to eat some crow... Open mouth > insert foot...
I have, and I say I have learned... let it go and let it take some time to cool off, the approch it interagotivly, rather than with convicted acusations.. or something like that.
I was the victim of this... I maintain a policy with the raid group that forum participation is not optional...
There are things groups do that are not necessary, but often define their success, and often in the long run lead to greater accomplishments and cohesion as a group. In this case, I expect people to do a couple things and they have been put on notice that they will be replaced if they don't... Sign up on the calendar... simple, it allows me to plan ahead... and participate in the forum... ONE forum, on the guild website.. not all of them, just one... seems simple, and it may seem silly, but, there are a lot of reasons why. ONE: it shows your involvement and commitment with the group... a simple thing to do, and if you can not/will not, what else is there. TWO: a lot of communication can happen, strats, videos, discussion, post from work you will not be there etc... THREE: we raid 2 times a week, and have some who only log their toons to raid, and have no alts in guild... hard to reach and hard to update with out an alternate communication means outside of game FOUR: its just one of those little things that adds to making the difference between casual and... not so casual...
anyway... Players are hard to really identify for what they are, experience has shown me that in most cases, its a 2-3 week time frame before you find their true colors and character... Some are as good as their word and others... well, they tell you yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever they think you want to hear and does not reflect their true intentions goals and such. So I posted a "... you have earned nothing from your previous contributions, what you are contributing now is what is matters. If you think you have some entitlement to something you are mistaken, GTFO FFS..."
Well, that was not received well by a returning player... Happens that player is the former GM and still holds an Officer role in the guild... their comment was no yelling and that language was not tolerated, I dont think you have the position to tell anyone GTFO. Talk to an officer...
That was not received well. 4 out of 5 officer are on "break" and your the 5th returning... they have done nothing for me, our group, our guild anytime in recent history and I dont know any of them. They did not do any recruiting, any building, any assistance to our cause or efforts. You are back, and you are not welcome, you are the one the post is writen to... Dont come into our groups forum that I started and honestly is the ONLY forum on the website with more than a post or 3 recently... Dont come back and say, "I know I have been gone but I am back and I dont like what happened when I was gone so we are going to change what is currently working, and go back to the old ways, and you are under my leadership now."
I just about pushed submit, on a post that Ripped them up, and pointed out the problems with their post and their assumptions, but rather than fight fire with fire... lessons I have learned... I decided to let it stew, and get a couple other peeps involved... Just so it does not go where there is only a bad outcome... but, really they came into OUR raid groups forum, and trash on my leadership and style over what is offensive to some... I WANTED IT TO BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME... if the shoe fits wear it... dont think, they like that, though I really dont know... and my assumtions, could lead to a lot of work wasted in building the group... as I go out to find a new guild... not what I want to happen, as this is why groups and guild constantly fail, feeling get hurt, and people just gquit... I dont want to be that guy... so working the way forward with out causing an all out fireworks factory explosion and a lot of drama... I will wait a couple days and let someone else moderate, or help the situation not go balistic... I am nearly certain that if I posted my response unchecked and did not ask for help... it would have gotten ugly, really ugly fast... At the same time, I can not and will not have someone come in and try to step in and dictate how our group runs... and my leadership of the group... Could I have been less blunt, less offensive and a lot of other things, sure, but not my style, cut the chase and make your point plain and little room for interpretation... say what you mean and say what you feel, or others will be guessing and you will be disappointed with the outcome..
Have you ever gquit over silly stuff? or held your tongue and let it ride for a bit? Have you ever been in a group you did not enjoy because you had unresolved conflict with another player... Its a game I play to enjoy and relax, when that fails I do something different, its not RL, but I do take it seriously to a point...
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